Revive Counseling LLC


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What Does Trauma Feel Like?

It’s important to recognize that trauma affects everyone differently, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. There are also Different types of trauma. Also, specific experiences and responses can vary greatly based on the individual, the nature of the trauma, and their support systems. However, there are some common themes that people going through trauma might experience:

Common Trauma Themes


  • Shock and disbelief: This is a common initial reaction, where it may be hard to process what happened or believe it occurred.
  • Fear and anxiety: Feeling constantly on edge, worried about the future, or experiencing panic attacks are not uncommon.
  • Sadness and grief: It’s natural to feel deep sadness. Additionally, it’s normal to grieve the loss of normalcy, safety, or innocence after a traumatic event.
  • Anger and frustration: Feeling angry at the perpetrator, oneself, or the situation can be a way of trying to regain control.
  • Guilt and shame: Sometimes people blame themselves for the trauma, even if it wasn’t their fault.
  • Numbness and detachment: As a coping mechanism, some people may feel emotionally numb or disconnected from their feelings.
  • Intrusive thoughts and flashbacks: Vivid memories or images of the traumatic event can involuntarily resurface, causing distress.
  • Difficulty concentrating: It can be challenging to focus on daily tasks or studies after experiencing trauma.
  • Negative self-beliefs: People may develop negative thoughts about themselves, their worth, or their ability to cope.


  • Avoidance: Trying to avoid anything that reminds them of the trauma, including people, places, or activities.
  • Social withdrawal: Isolating oneself from others due to difficulty connecting or fear of judgment.
  • Self-destructive behaviors: Turning to risky activities, or self-harm as a way to cope with emotional pain.
  • Hypervigilance: Feeling constantly on alert for potential threats, leading to difficulty relaxing or sleeping.


  • Sleep problems: Nightmares, insomnia, or difficulty falling asleep are common.
  • Fatigue and exhaustion: The emotional toll of trauma can leave people feeling physically drained.
  • Body aches and pains: Some people experience unexplained physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or muscle tension.

It’s important to remember that these are just some examples, and not everyone will experience all of these symptoms. Furthermore, if you or someone you know is going through trauma, please reach out for help. There are many resources available, such as Victoria Byler of Revive Counseling LLC, support groups, and crisis hotlines.

You don’t have to go through this alone. While there are common symptoms associated with trauma, it is important to remember that everyone experiences trauma differently. For example, some men may report feeling numb, disconnected, or angry after a traumatic experience. Additionally, others may feel anxious, depressed, or hypervigilant. Also, it is important to not that men may be less likely to seek help for mental health concerns than women. So, if you are concerned about a man who may be struggling after a traumatic experience, it is important to encourage him to talk to some he trusts and seek professional help if needed

Experiencing Emotional Trauma is Normal

Trauma, angst, stress, words as crossword

Unfortunately, the perception that men shouldn’t experience emotional trauma is a harmful stereotype that can impede help-seeking behavior. Interestingly, Yes, it is absolutely normal for men to experience emotional trauma. Here’s why:

Prevalence: Research shows that 60% of men will experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetime. While women are more likely to develop PTSD, men still face a significant risk of emotional and psychological consequences.

Impact: Trauma can affect anyone, regardless of gender. It can cause a wide range of emotional symptoms, including sadness, anger, fear, guilt, and shame. Trauma can also lead to behavioral changes, such as avoidance, or self-harm.

Cultural Factors: Societal expectations of masculinity can create barriers for men seeking help. Common phrases like “man up” or “be a man” can make it difficult for men to acknowledge their emotional struggles and reach out for support.

Importance of Acknowledging: Ignoring or suppressing emotional trauma can have serious consequences for mental and physical health. Also, recognizing its normalcy encourages men to seek help and access the support they need to heal.


  • Trauma is a human experience, not a gendered one.
  • It’s important to challenge harmful stereotypes about masculinity.
  • Men deserve to access mental health support without stigma.
  • If you or someone you know is struggling with emotional trauma, please reach out for help.

EMDR: A Solution for Trauma

Man with trauma, stress and mental health problem, therapy and psychology, depressed and thinking aEMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a therapy approach used to treat trauma and related symptoms like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). While the exact mechanism of EMDR is still being explored, here’s what we know:

Key concepts:

  • Emotional processing: Trauma can get “stuck” in the brain, leading to distressing emotions and memories. Conversely, EMDR aims to help your brain process these memories and emotions in a healthy way.
  • Bilateral stimulation: This is the core feature of EMDR, where you follow therapist-guided movements like eye movements, tapping, or listening to tones back and forth. Importantly, this stimulation is thought to activate different brain areas involved in processing emotions and memory.
  • Desensitization: By revisiting the traumatic memory in a safe and controlled environment while engaging in bilateral stimulation, the emotional intensity associated with the memory may decrease.
  • Reprocessing: As you process the memory and emotions, you may develop new, more adaptive beliefs about yourself and the event.
  • Combining Somatic Techniques: EMDR, expressive arts and somatic experiencing techniques can help some people have a powerful healing experience.



  • Research suggests EMDR can be effective in reducing PTSD symptoms, anxiety, depression, and other trauma-related issues.
  • It can be faster than traditional talk therapy for some individuals.
  • EMDR can be helpful for people who find it difficult to talk about their trauma in detail.


Important notes:

  • EMDR should be conducted by a trained therapist.
  • EMDR is not a magic bullet and may not work for everyone.
  • It is important to set realistic expectations and have a supportive environment during and after treatment.
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Finding Strength and Hope Through Trauma Counseling: A Message for Men

Absolutely, men can absolutely find hope for loss through trauma counseling. Here’s why:

1. Trauma counseling addresses the core issues: Trauma counseling doesn’t just focus on the loss itself, but also delves into the emotional and psychological consequences it has caused. This includes processing fear, anger, guilt, and shame, which can be powerful obstacles to finding hope. In fact, by addressing these underlying issues, men can start to heal and rebuild their sense of well-being.

2. Tailored approaches for men: Therapists trained in trauma understand the unique challenges men face in expressing emotions and seeking help. They use approaches that are culturally sensitive and resonate with men’s communication styles. This can create a safe and supportive space for men to open up and work through their struggles.

3. Focus on growth and empowerment: Trauma counseling doesn’t just treat symptoms, it empowers men to regain control of their lives. What’s more, this involves developing coping mechanisms, building resilience, and finding healthy ways to manage difficult emotions. This newfound strength and capability can fuel hope for the future.

4. Reconnecting with purpose and meaning: Trauma can shatter a sense of purpose and meaning in life. So, trauma counseling helps men explore their values, identify personal strengths, and rediscover what truly matters to them. This renewed sense of purpose can be a powerful source of hope and motivation.

5. Building a support network: Feeling isolated can worsen the impact of loss and trauma. The good news is, trauma counseling can help men connect with support groups or individual mentors who understand their experiences and offer encouragement and understanding. This sense of belonging and shared experience can be invaluable in fostering hope.


·        Every man’s journey is unique, and the time it takes to find hope varies.

·        Taking the first step and seeking help is a courageous act and a testament to your strength.

·        There are many effective therapy approaches available, and finding the right therapist who resonates with you is crucial. Feel free to sign up for a free 15-minute consultation with Revive Counseling LLC to see if we are a great fit.


If you or someone you know is struggling with loss and trauma, please reach out for help. We are professionals who can guide you on the path to healing and hope.

What if I'm Not Sure?

The Following are Some Common Objections Men Have About Trauma Therapy

Man, hand and beach portrait for follow sign, choice and call for vacation, outdoor and adventure i We can help you explore potential objections and responses to seeking trauma therapy:

Common Objections:

  • “I’m too tough to need therapy.” -> Response: Nevertheless, strength comes in many forms, and seeking help is a sign of courage. Therapy can equip you with better tools to handle challenges.
  • “It’s not a big deal.” -> Response: Minimizing your experience doesn’t erase its impact. Trauma affects everyone differently, and seeking help acknowledges its significance.
  • “It’s embarrassing to talk about.” -> Response: Nonetheless, therapists are trained to create a safe and confidential space for vulnerability. Remember, you’re not alone in what you’ve experienced.
  • “It’s too expensive.” -> Response: Explore resources like sliding-scale options with Revive Counseling LLC. Investment in your mental health is valuable.
  • “I can handle it on my own.” -> Response: While self-reliance is admirable, relying on professional support can accelerate healing and provide valuable insights.
  • “What if it doesn’t work?” -> Response: Importantly, therapy is a journey, not a guarantee. Finding the right therapist and approach might take time, but the potential benefits outweigh the risk.

Responses to Objections:

  • Focus on the benefits: Highlight how therapy can improve your life, relationships, and overall well-being.
  • Challenge negative thoughts: To put it another way, address the self-doubt and stigma surrounding therapy with facts and personal examples (if comfortable).
  • Offer practical solutions: Research affordable options, or online resources to address practical concerns.
  • Express your needs: Certainly, if someone discourages you, calmly assert your right to prioritize your mental health.

Why Choose Revive Counseling?

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There are many benefits to seeking help from a trauma counselor, both in the short and long term. Here are some of the key advantages:

Processing and understanding your trauma:

  • Gaining clarity and insight: I can help you make sense of what happened, why it happened, and how it has affected you. Subsequently, this can be a crucial step in moving on from the experience.
  • Reducing emotional distress: Trauma can often lead to intense emotions such as fear, anger, guilt, and shame. And, I can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage these emotions in a constructive way.
  • Addressing negative thoughts and beliefs: Trauma can sometimes lead to negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself and the world. Therefore, I  can help you challenge these negative thoughts and develop more positive and realistic beliefs.

Improving your overall well-being:

  • Reducing symptoms of PTSD: If you are experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as flashbacks, nightmares, and avoidance, I can help you learn skills to manage these symptoms and improve your quality of life.
  • Strengthening relationships: Trauma can often damage relationships with loved ones. In fact, a trauma counselor can help you learn how to communicate more effectively and build stronger, healthier relationships.
  • Boosting self-esteem: Trauma can sometimes lead to low self-esteem. I can help you build your self-confidence and develop a more positive sense of self.


Finding hope and meaning:

  • Developing coping skills: A trauma counselor can teach you coping skills to manage stress, anxiety, and other difficult emotions. This can help you feel more in control of your life.
  • Learning to forgive: Forgiveness is not about condoning what happened, but about letting go of resentment and anger. Fortunately, I can help you explore forgiveness and its potential benefits for your healing.
  • Finding purpose and meaning: Trauma can sometimes make it difficult to find meaning in life. But, we can help you explore your values and goals, and develop a sense of purpose that motivates you.

It is important to remember that everyone heals at their own pace, and there is no right or wrong way to seek help. So, if you are considering seeking help from a trauma counselor, it is important to find someone you feel comfortable with and who specializes in working with trauma (like Victoria Byler:)).